that letter you wrote about our father was so mean that even i cried. i hope you get better but you are a selfish bitch
being present makes a difference
just showing up
that was one of the things i took away from gretchen’s chapter about friendships and it really struck me the past week or so, between my own show and my friend’s shows.
being present goes a long way.
today i was out in the cold for half an hour to get to my friend’s dance show. i sat through a two hour show just to watch her dancing figure get lost in a big group for 2 minutes
today it took me five hours to get out of bed.
its so much easier to do things for other people than it is to do them for myself.
i was in the shower reflecting on stigma
and realized that those dark parts of my mind weren’t hidden, they were ignored
and then i realized i already knew this
"he sees all she has. he sees how she smiles then turns away
because he loves who he sees and he doesn’t want to see her in pain”
i am an n-dimensional vector in the massive vector space of life
i have so many components you can’t even begin to visualize me
what i am not is a list of labels and conditions
problems and praises written out on a check list
after mindy mentioned joni mitchell’s blue not once but twice, i knew that i liked her for sure. good twentieth birthday present i picked out for myself. even with this hellish school week (three midterms!) i finished it in six days. it was so funny and true. i wish i could embody this kind of honest, self confident, no shits given attitude more often
so they years spin by and now the boy is twenty
though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
there’ll be new dreams maybe better dreams and plenty
before the last revolving year is through.
and the seasons
they go round and round
and the painted ponies
go up and down
we’re captive on carousel of time
we can’t return
we can only look
behind from where we came
and go round and round and round
in the circle game
sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
cartwheels turn to carwheels through the town
and they tell him take your time it won’t be long now
till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
(Source: Flickr / gabriellacorrado)